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The real war is against male loneliness”: Patel, Hegseth walk into a bar on “Saturday Night Live

May 10, 2026
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The real war is against male loneliness”: Patel, Hegseth walk into a bar on “Saturday Night Live
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Matt Damon and Aziz Ansari reprised their roles as Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and FBI Director Kash Patel in this week’s episode of “Saturday Night Live.”

Damon, who last played the conservative justice in 2018, met up spontaneously with Colin Jost‘s Pete Hegseth at a DC bar. The sketch, centered around the idea that several members of the Trump administration are known for their drunken escapades, found Hegseth and Kavanaugh catching up just before last call.

“Can you believe I started a war?” Hegseth asked.

“Can you believe I ended abortion?” Kavanaugh replied.

Jost’s Hegseth maintained that the war in Iran was going exactly to plan. He insisted to Kavanaugh that any negative consequences of the ongoing conflict were already on the way out. He said the war was like “me in a DUI checkpoint, it completely blew over.”

Harkening back to Kavanaugh’s infamous confirmation hearing, the Supreme Court justice grew weepy.

“The real war is the war against male loneliness,” he said. “I just wish there were more people in this administration who could really hang.”

On cue, Ansari burst through the front door as Patel.

“Does this bar take Kash?!” he shouted, before showing off his custom-made bottle of bourbon.

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“This is a real thing that I, the FBI director, had made,” Ansari said. “I bring my own alcohol to bars because sometimes they think I’m a kid with a fake ID.”

Watch the sketch below via YouTube:

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