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Sean Duffy Gets The Crash Dummy Crookie Award

December 31, 2025
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Sean Duffy Gets The Crash Dummy Crookie Award
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Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy was an overachiever in failure in 2025.

He wasted no time in making sure people were not safe, whether they traveled by air, land, or water.

His first action was to lay off hundreds of air traffic controllers because of their gender, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, or if they were differently abled. Predictably, this led to disaster with numerous plane crashes and more than a hundred people dying.

Duffy’s second action was to lie about his first action, even to the point of trying to deny having laid off the workers he had indeed laid off.

Duffy’s failure in managing the FAA became a recurring theme for 2025, with Duffy claiming that “people will lose their lives” flying under this administration, his failure to keep adequate staffing, which led to hundreds and thousands of flight delays, and eventually became a weapon in the War Against Thanksgiving.

Duffy wasn’t done making air travel a pure hell yet. He came up with the doozy idea of bringing back the “Golden Age of Travel” by stating people needed to dress up when flying because no one wants to see a messy corpse at the scene of a plane crash. Along with that, Duffy also wanted to install miniature gyms in airports so people could get their finest clothes stained and stinky from sweat. Duffy never explained how either of these things would help with air traffic controller staffing levels.

But Duffy wasn’t happy with just screwing up air travel. He also worked hard at being hell on wheels.

He had such numbskull ideas as claiming that rainbow sidewalks will kill you and making sure only people who spoke English could drive trucks. Apparently, screwing up the supply chain to promote your racism is much more cost-effective than using universal traffic signs as they do in civilized countries.

When blue states didn’t go along with his idiocy, Duffy stamped his little feets and made idle and impotent threats against them.

But Duffy isn’t just a travel guy. Oh no. He’s also a family counselor and thinks that women should be staying home, barefoot, and pregnant. I’m sure his wife, Rachel Compost-Duffy, will agree once she gets home from her job at Fox.



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