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DOJ Couldn’t Indict A Ham Sandwich So They Indicted James Comey Again

April 28, 2026
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DOJ Couldn’t Indict A Ham Sandwich So They Indicted James Comey Again
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Incredibly, the Department of (In)Justice has secured an indictment of James Comey for…a seashell meme.

Here’s a little story for you. Once upon a time, former FBI Director James Comey went for a little walk on the beach when he happened upon…this.

Credit: Screenshot

And lo, the wingers went wild. “HE’S CALLING FOR TRUMP’S ASSASSINATION!” “86 MEANS KILLING!!!” “JAMES COMEY WANTS TO OFF TRUMP!!”

And so on, as they do. For days, all over social media, people were complaining, until finally Mr. Comey took down the post and explained that he “didn’t realize some folks associate those numbers with violence.”

Most of us associate those numbers with the trash, not murder. But Republicans are a murderous sort. It should also be noted that Comey didn’t actually create the arrangement. Someone else did that and left it for all to see.

How that translates to murderous thoughts in the heart of Comey, I do not know, although he is certainly entitled to have them. I’m no James Comey fan. I still hold him responsible for Hillary Clinton’s loss to Trump in 2016. However, this is the stupidest damn thing I’ve ever seen.

So here’s the thing. Those shells were an act of speech. And Comey’s posting them on his Instagram was also speech. Last I heard, we had a First Amendment in this country, which entitles us to speak our minds freely. It’s why I have no problem shouting ” QUIET PIGGY!” every time I see his little anus mouth spewing things on TV. It’s why I spend a good chunk of my day deploying speech to counter the speech of the deplorables. And it’s why this indictment is going nowhere.

As an aside, my understanding of the term “86” was that it meant to toss it in the garbage. Representative Mark Alford says in the video at the top that taking it off the menu means “killing it.” What a violent sort he is. Taking something off the menu, my friend, is hardly the same as killing someone. But he’s a Republican. It’s his job to fluff the Piggy every chance he gets.

There is no justice—just servitude.



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Tags: ComeycouldntDOJHamindictindictedJamesSandwich
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