After Rep. Thomas Massie brought articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Crimes Whiskey Pete Hegseth this week, Rep. Drunken Van Orden quickly jumped to his fellow alcoholic’s defense. When Matt Laslo asked him for comment about it, DVO was ready to brawl:
“I will f****** punch someone in the face for talking about Hegseth,” Rep. Derrick Van Orden tells me in my latest piece @RawStory…
….before driving off on his Harley from the Capitol https://t.co/nyLgaMmrXO pic.twitter.com/QTODyOCKJy
— Matt Laslo (@MattLaslo) September 17, 2026
Per Laslo, DVO wasn’t done with that:
But Van Orden says he’s ready for a public Hegseth debate.
“If these morons are talking s— about Pete, you know, they’re barking up the wrong tree,” the former Navy SEAL said.
But wait! There’s more. There’s always more.
Apparently, DVO figured that if there weren’t any teenagers to take his anger out on, a former middle school teacher would have to do.
Rachel La Due, Deputy Comms Director for the Democratic Party of Wisconsin and a former middle school teacher, pointed out that DVO was struggling with coming to terms with the fact that he would be jobless next year and that watching him tantrum “feels like watching a toddler kick and scream after being told they can’t have something they want.”
DVO, again like Big Daddy Trump, snapped back at her at 3:30 in the morning:
Yeah, nothing unstable about that.
DVO would be smart to take advantage of his extensive time off to get into treatment for his anger control issues and his drinking problem. It’s not like he has anything else to do, like hold a town hall meeting or listen to his constituents.