Nikki Glaser proved to be the Golden Globes’ safest bet

The Golden Globes need a host about as much as people who truly love movies and television need the Golden Globes — which is to say, not at all.  Proof of that is in the award show’s history. For nearly all of the first four decades of its existence, and between 1996 and 2009, Hollywood’s most inebriated night of back-slapping stumbled forth without a couture-clad shepherd to guide it. Then, in 2010, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association made Ricky Gervais its returning ringmaster and things went up before plummeting sharply downhill from there.

Cut to 2026, and a point in history when the world feels horrendously upside down. The 83rd Globes is coming off a week where America’s president bragged about overthrowing Venezuela’s regime to claim its oil, and an ICE agent gunned down an unarmed American citizen and mother of three in Minneapolis.

So, as a roomful of wealthy, famous people gathered to congratulate themselves on their artistic accomplishments, second-time Globes host Nikki Glaser proved that the show needs her more than she or any of us needs this gig. “The Golden Globes. Without a doubt, the most important thing that’s happening in the world right now,” she joked. “So, let’s get down to business, shall we? We’ll start the bidding for Warner Brothers at $5. Do I hear $5?”

The Globes have never been a revolutionizing presence in the TV realm, which Glaser acknowledged last year by joking about the ceremony holding space for TV. Sunday’s awards show underscored that by repeating the same selections as the Emmys in the top categories. “The Pitt,” which recently premiered its second season, won best TV drama for its first. Its star, Noah Wyle, took home best actor. “The Studio” claimed best TV comedy while Seth Rogen won the comedy actor prize. “Adolescence” won the best limited series Globe, and its stars Owen Cooper, Erin Doherty and Stephen Graham won individual hardware.

However, because of the Globes’ loony category smash-up in the supporting performance races, Cooper’s triumph came at the expense of “The White Lotus” star Walton Goggins and Tramell Tillman’s Emmy-winning work on “Severance.” Neither of their shows won Globes, either.

That said, Rhea Seehorn’s long overdue award recognition for her work on “Pluribus” was beyond welcome. We can only hope Emmy voters remember it nine months from now. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, because we live in disappointing times.

Glaser understood the crowd could take a few reminders of that, placing their rarified status in perspective while still keeping the stars in her corner. She adopted a similar tonal approach to last year’s monologue, although in the year since she first treated the A-listers seated in that Beverly Hilton ballroom with kid gloves and strategically displayed self-deprecation, she’s moved up a league or two. Sunday, she cashed in some of that currency of success to knock around some top dogs that she knew could take a few jokes at their expense.

She started with, “I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. It’s insane. There are so many A-listers. And by A-listers, I mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted.”

That also meant the usual jokes about Leonardo DiCaprio dating barely legal women, and making light of “Marty Supreme” star Timothée Chalamet’s name and slight frame. “Not a lot of people know this, but Timothée Chalamet is the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong. This is true. He gained over 60 ounces. It’s insane.”

She called “Jumanji” co-stars Dwayne Johnson (nominated for his work in “The Smashing Machine“) and Kevin Hart her favorite classic comedy duo: “You’re like Steve Martin and Martin Short, but for, like, people under a 50 IQ. You know what I mean? Like, we like movies too!”

She mocked Paul Thomas Anderson’s award season favorite “One Battle After Another” by calling it “one man bun after another.” Then, Glaser gave DiCaprio’s co-star Sean Penn a dubious compliment by saying, “You know, everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger. Meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?’ And I feel like it’s hot. It’s good!”

This was a much kinder treatment than the inhuman powers behind the industry and the telecast received from her. “The award for Most Editing goes to CBS News,” she deadpanned. “Yes, CBS News: America’s newest place to see BS news. We needed another!”

(Allen J. Schaben/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images) Teyana Taylor holds her Award for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture for “One Battle After Another,” at the 2026 Golden Globes in Beverly Hills, CA on Sunday, January 11, 2026.

Otherwise, most of her jokes and the winners’ acceptance speeches avoided inflammatory subjects, a reflection of the chill reigning over free expression. The most socially insightful speech came from “One Battle After Another” star Teyana Taylor, marking her best supporting actress win by encouraging “my brown sisters and little brown girls: Our softness is not a liability . . . Our light does not need permission to shine,” she said. “We belong in every room we walk into. Our voices matter.”

This offered quite the contrast to Jean Smart joking, “What can I say, I’m a greedy b–ch!” upon claiming her third Globe for her work in “Hacks.” After that, Smart alluded to some of the sentiments she shared on the red carpet before the broadcast. On the Globes stage, she simply ended her speech with, “Let’s all do the right thing, and I think everybody in their hearts knows what the right thing is to do. So let’s do the right thing.”

That’s as fine a segue as any to acknowledging Glaser’s fine handling of “Heated Rivalry” stars Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams’ charming Globes debut. Past hosts might have made a terrible joke about the show, but her ribbing only took on the slightest shade of blue. “Of course, the categories tonight are their own heated rivalries,” she said, “So let’s get back to a bunch of famous people thanking each other off!”

Regardless of how enjoyable Glaser was, the pall hanging over the award show and the country was palpable. Not helping are the lingering questions of the Golden Globes’ legitimacy. As the ground beneath the industry shifts, the apparatus propping up the telecast may be less brazenly corrupt, insular and racially exclusive than it was under the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, but still leaves much to be desired.

Currently, the Globes’ voting body is composed of 300 members from all over the world. A positive effect of that diversity infusion could be seen in the expansion of best drama nominees to include international features such as France’s “It Was Just an Accident,” Norway’s “Sentimental Value,” and eventual best non-English film winner, Brazil’s “The Secret Agent,” whose star Wagner Moura also won best drama actor.

But consider what took its place. Although Glaser enlivened Sunday’s proceedings, Globes commentators Kevin Frazier and Variety’s red carpet correspondent Marc Malkin were terrible additions. Frazier’s natural skill as an “Entertainment Tonight” host helped smooth the transitions to Malkin’s stammering and distracting voice, but their worthless gushing detracted from the moment.

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So why were they there in the first place? Well, Malkin is a valued employee of Penske Media, which owns all the major industry trades. Penske and Dick Clark Productions’ owner, Todd Boehly, combined forces to create Penske Media Eldridge, named in part for Boehly’s Eldridge Industries.

Along with restoring the Globes’ pyrite luster, PME also made changes to entice younger viewers to tune in. Last year, the production began using geolocation icons to show the folks at home where a nominee was seated in the ballroom while pop-up banners shared trivia about presenters and winners. It was a worthy effort, but it didn’t do anything for their bottom line.

So this year, the Globes partnered with Polymarket, a Manhattan-based prediction market funded in part by Donald Trump Jr. Polymarket recently made headlines for a trader succeeding on a bet that Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro would be captured by the end of January, to the tune of $400,000. The site is currently taking action on the odds of regime changes in Iran and Mexico.

Anyway, out went the trivia and in came Malkin and Frazier blathering about how excited they are for a second season of “Adolescence” that Netflix has yet to confirm. Replacing those “the more you know” graphics were poll results predicting wins that were foregone conclusions, like “Sinners” eventual win for the relatively new award of best cinematic and box office achievement. It was added two years ago, along with a category for best stand-up, neither of which is as blatantly corrupt as the HFPA allowing Pia Zadora’s billionaire financier husband at the time, Meshulam Riklis, to buy her a special award in 1982 by purchasing voters’ favor.

Instead, they’re appeasement devices or a means to reward their own. Consider that in the three years that the best stand-up comic Globe has existed, past host Ricky Gervais has won twice, and for specials that didn’t exactly blow anybody away.

Knowing this, when this year’s inaugural podcast Globe went to past Globes host Amy Poehler’s “Good Hang,” Polymarket’s accurate prediction of that outcome wasn’t all that shocking. It merely followed a basic understanding of how this award show works. (The silver lining in the absent Gervais’ latest win is that Wanda Sykes used her capacity as the category’s presenter to accept the award on his behalf and, in his name, thank God and the trans community, a highlight of the evening.)

(Rich Polk/2026GG/Penske Media via Getty Images) Amy Poehler at the 83rd Annual Golden Globes held at The Beverly Hilton on January 11, 2026 in Beverly Hills, California.

Poehler’s podcast lives up to its title, don’t get me wrong. Nor should it be implied that “Sinners,” 2025’s moviegoing phenomenon, didn’t deserve an award for box office achievement. But as writer Mark Harris astutely pointed out in a Bluesky post, it was up against “Avatar: Fire and Ash,” a movie that hadn’t opened when nominations were announced, and two-time Globe winner “Kpop Demon Hunters,” a feature that premiered on streaming and whose box office totals were never reported, because that’s how Netflix operates.

Between that and awarding Ludwig Göransson’s “Sinners” score during a commercial break, the Globes frontloaded the expectations of “Sinners” and Ryan Coogler getting shafted this awards season in favor of Anderson, who won best screenplay and best director. “One Battle After Another” took the top prize in best musical or comedy motion picture, with “Hamnet” edging out “Sinners” to take best drama.

Globes wins have long been considered a predictor of which films and performers will triumph at the Oscars, although last year’s ceremony shut out eventual best picture winner “Anora.” Taken along with the overall stink that still hangs on the Globes, which joins the general toxicity wafting in the air a mere 11 days into 2026, however, it’s all pretty deflating.

If the Globes ceremony serves any purpose anymore, it is to remind viewers that movies and TV are still producing worthwhile escapism. Glaser’s outstanding efforts notwithstanding, however, we’re still left wondering whether it’s all worth it.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences recently announced that the Oscars are moving from ABC to YouTube beginning in 2029. Broadcast’s shrinking viewership and network production restrictions augur the necessity of a hard restart for the entire industry’s approach to live awards events. Solving that conundrum is the job of other people. For the time being, Glaser merely endeavored to set the bar at the line between clever and stupid, which she claimed at the end of the show was her goal. In this respect, the host succeeded. But for the Globes to stay viable, other aspects of the telecast need to pull back on being so predictable.