When the universe as we know it collapses, the only creatures with a chance of surviving to see the next age would be akin to Ridley Scott’s xenomorphs. Like the “Alien” franchise itself, they’re durable, adaptable to any environment and reproductively prolific. Similar to cockroaches, except these bugs are planet killers. That’s the intriguing, terrifying premise of “Alien: Earth,” Noah Hawley’s highly anticipated series arriving Tuesday, Aug. 12, on FX and Hulu.
Hawley’s contribution to the series brings our favorite space horrors to Earth in the not-too-distant future. To brace ourselves for that experience, an “Alien” franchise rewatch is in order. However, some entries are better than others, hence this ranking of “Alien” movies – which, I’ll admit, is a challenge to take on.
Tonally speaking, the “Alien” movies span several genres — mainly action, horror and operatic sci-fi. The best double as indictments of corporate hegemony, presenting the ruthless Weyland-Yutani Corporation as a human threat equivalent to the xenomorphs; The Company simply kills people more slowly.
These aliens also span franchises about extraterrestrial threats, so for clarity’s sake, we’re leaving 2004’s “Alien vs. Predator” and 2007’s “Alien vs. Predator: Requiem” out of this. (With a new addition to the “Predator” franchise due later this year, their day for a definitive ranking will come!)
In truth, how you feel about these movies as discrete entities or a whole depends on what appeals to you about the “Alien” universe. In my view, these movies would be nothing without the foundational heroics of Sigourney Weaver’s Ellen Ripley. More than a feminist icon, Ripley symbolizes the frustrations of working women in a male-dominated society.
Then again, she only appears in four of the franchise’s primary seven films. The trio of most recent additions to the universe adds plenty to the conversation on their own, as I’ll explain soon enough.
But first, let’s start with the least.
7. “Alien: Resurrection” (Hulu & Disney+)
Every “Alien” movie is a cautionary story about scientific hubris, with humans racing to harness the xenomorph’s potential as a bioweapon. But this piece of detritus, set 200 years after the events of “Alien 3,” feels less like an expansion of a gripping idea than a cheap attempt to revive a heroine the previous movie retired definitively (and, I would say, honorably).
“Amelie” director Jean-Pierre Jeunet does his level best with a mediocre script by Joss Whedon, who can’t resist flogging an array of awful ‘90s action movie cliches. Aside from re-introducing Weaver’s Ripley as a clone with xenomorph DNA, this installment is mainly memorable for adding Winona Ryder to the “Alien” android gallery, and confirming that human-alien hybrids enjoy a sweet goodbye cuddle before you blow them out the airlock.
6. “Alien: Romulus” (Hulu & Disney+)
Director Fede Álvarez reboots the franchise for a new generation by deftly blending the horror of the first movie with the adrenaline-spiking action of the second, along with a little too much goofy fan service. Here, the unsuspecting humans are a bunch of poor kids who steal a hauler with a plan of looting a deserted spaceship and fleeing their indenture.
Of course, the adrift vessel isn’t entirely abandoned and turns out to have been a scientific vessel conducting experiments that got away from them, quickly, before popping out and killing a bunch. It happens! A lot!
Although this movie’s Ripley equivalent is Cailee Spaeny’s Rain Carradine, the real star is David Jonsson’s Andy, a kindly obsolete android programmed to care for her. That is, until another party overwrites his code, transforming him into the best reason for “Romulus” to exist.
5. “Alien: Covenant” (Hulu & Disney+)
Here’s where a list like this starts to get painful, because “Alien: Covenant” is not a bad movie. I prefer to think of it as a solid cargo ship delivering inciting devices, as in the lethal xenomorphs engineered by Michael Fassbender’s devious android David 8. The human crew’s job is to deliver those aliens from the uncharted planet where we find David following the events of “Prometheus” to the rest of the known universe.
“Covenant,” exciting as it can be, bangs on the recurring motif of a spaceship crew wandering into places they’re not qualified to explore to confront a threat they can’t handle without imbuing additional value into the action. But it’s the personalities that make the difference. With “Covenant,” the standout is Fassbender’s villain, although his dual portrayal of Walter, the human crew’s protective synthetic life form, is equally as compelling. That said, the most potent reveal is a chilling image of an operating table that tells the truth of what happened to the last person who trusted David.
4. “Alien 3” (Hulu & Disney+)
A lot of folks were bummed out by this follow-up to the franchise’s second movie, including its director, David Fincher. But in a sense, Fincher was saddled with a no-win situation. The previous movie ended with the comfort of knowing Ripley and three other beloved characters survived. This script immediately kills off two of them. Instead of throwing Ripley into the grinder with a bunch of wisecracking, trigger-happy colonial marines, the story strands her on a prison planet and foundry where more than half the inmates view her as prey.
She’s also already been violated, sealing her fate and announcing the end to her story. I’ve seen “Alien 3” described as gloomy, which it is. But if you view it as the last stage of Ripley’s career trajectory on the payroll of a company that devalues human life, the movie translates as elegiac. Most women crash against a glass ceiling despite their best efforts to “lean in” and all that hooey. Ripley opts out by stepping back from her duties — all the way off a platform, plummeting into hellfire while clutching the creature that hunted her to her last breath.
3. “Prometheus” (Hulu & Disney+)
While technically an “Alien” prequel, H.R. Giger’s phallic horrors don’t appear in the story, yet. “Prometheus” journeys to the origins of the Weyland Corporation, establishing its founder’s obsession with the origins of mankind. While the titular ship’s crew manages to find the being Weyland believes to be the human race’s extraterrestrial predecessors, our forebears are not excited to meet us.
Within this beautifully rendered mess of a Genesis tale is a provocative examination of man’s God complex. Weyland boasts a good game about extending humanity’s lifespan, but primarily wants to meet our elusive alien founders to see if he can live forever. That has consequences for the whole cosmos.
2. “Alien” (Hulu & Disney+)
Whether the original deserves the top position is a matter of what you deem to be most important about it. Ridley Scott’s first foray into this world operates like a claustrophobic thriller, plying stretches of unsettling quiet with jump scares within a labyrinth of sweating pipes, sweaty humans and darkness.
When you really break down “Alien,” though, you get a riveting story about workplace inequality and the perils of mission creep. “Alien” marks the first appearance of Ellen Ripley, a commissioned officer managing the crew of the commercial tug Nostromo on behalf of an entity only identified as The Company. Through the ship’s computer, Mother, The Company directs them to investigate a transmission from, yes, a derelict alien vessel, prompting the coworkers to haggle over bonuses and hazard pay. When the away party returns with one of them carrying an alien embryo, Ripley denies him entry to the ship, citing quarantine regulations.
But a man of lesser rank overrides her order, and voila! Mother, there’s an alien on board, and all because a bunch of guys refused to listen to their female colleague, who knows what she’s doing.
1. “Aliens” (Hulu & Disney+)
Seven years after the original, James Cameron fired off a sequel that’s just as ferocious as the original, yet vastly different in identity and energy. Fifty-seven years after escaping the Nostromo, Ripley is found by a salvage crew and returns to Earth a conquering hero.
Kidding! The Company rakes her over the coals, demotes her, and doesn’t believe her report about an alien creature that has a razor-sharp tail, knife-like teeth and highly caustic acid for blood. Until, that is, a colony goes offline following an encounter with what they correctly guess is an xenomorph lair. Suddenly, Ripley is The Company’s expert consultant on a mission of colonial marines.
If you’re reading this, you already know the score, along with all the best lines and most memorable “bad hombres” — Corporal Hicks, Hudson, Vasquez, Bishop and the rest. Amidst all that, “Aliens” is pure popcorn pleasure that expands Ripley’s backstory along with that of Weyland-Yutani. In the expanded director’s cut, we’re shown the way The Company punishes Ripley for being a working mother, blaming her for drifting for 57 years and missing the chance to raise her daughter.
This lends a deeper value to her intense bond with Newt, the girl she’s willing to brave a nuclear meltdown to save. The Company prioritizes preserving these lethal creatures for study instead of protecting the people it sends into their snapping jaws. But Ripley knows people are only as noble as they are willing to fight for each other. Not bad for a human, indeed.
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