We should welcome MAGA remorse: I should know — it saved me

It’s seemingly a daily occurrence to see testimonials from people who voted for Donald Trump but are now ready to renounce MAGA. This buyer’s remorse is just beginning, and we need to provide an off-ramp for the increasingly uncertain.   

None of this should be surprising. It’s just a fact about our species: Many people only care about something when it affects them personally. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but let’s start with Trump’s attempts to deport immigrants in blatant defiance of the Constitution, without affording them their guaranteed right to due process. To some degree, these have been rebuffed. 

Elon Musk’s DOGE has broken so much of what didn’t need fixing, resulting in layoffs of thousands of federal workers who thought they’d be spared. Musk has literally embodied inefficiency and we can now, once and for all, retire the romantic mythology that any accomplished businessperson will succeed in managing the $7 trillion budget of the U.S. government. Our country is not a for-profit entity and cannot be treated as one, because it is responsible for the welfare of a third of a billion people.

Fire and then aim (without ever being ready) is no way to run this government, or any other.

Then there’s the intentional disruption begotten by Trump’s tariffs, which are likely to fuel inflation and may well push the economy into recession. That has given pause to some previously devout voters in agriculture and many small businesses. 

As executive director of the nonprofit Leaving MAGA, I am often asked how best to engage those MAGA people closest to us. First of all, I encourage avoiding “I told you so.” That may afford instant gratification, but it only strengthens an obsequious subservience to Trump.  

Our organization, formed last year, is a community for those who are leaving MAGA, those who feel doubts about their support for Trump, and friends and family of those still in the thrall of MAGA. 

Why is someone lured into MAGA in the first place? I’ll discuss my own case. 

I was interested in politics before 2015, but I was also ignorant and cynical. I believed both parties were the same, and felt a misguided desire to see our established political order obliterated. That was my entrée into MAGA, a movement that inarguably appeals to the disillusioned, especially those whose disenchantment manifests in both personal and political terms. 

The real question here is why so many of the disaffected among us have gravitated to MAGA. I’m not suggesting you should agree or support someone else’s loyalty to that community, but I am saying we need to understand the root causes for so much unhappiness among so many of our fellow Americans.

There are three primary reasons, I believe: Misinformation and disinformation; a tendency to believe the worst about the “other side”; and a profound misunderstanding of capitalism and free markets, which has created widespread financial dissatisfaction. I support capitalism, to be clear — but its mythology has instilled a conviction in many people that they are somehow entitled to do increasingly better, year after year, throughout their lives. Unfortunately, that’s not how an unequal-outcomes model of commerce tends to work. 

It is certainly valid to believe that our capitalist system is rigged in favor of the affluent, especially the ultra-rich. There will be a gradual, and then sudden, realization among many Trump voters that the chaos created, and havoc wreaked, by the likes of Trump and Musk will harm lower-income and middle-class Americans, along with small business owners, worst of all. Once that epiphany arrives, what happens next? 

Talking to MAGA: Dialogue, not lecture

I managed to find my way out of MAGA on my own, but most others will need an assist. That’s where friends and family come in.

Millions have cut off relations with loved ones or friends who became MAGA Americans — and I get it. I fervently believe, however, that the imperative to continue perfecting our union and democracy make it incumbent on us to reach out to the MAGA faithful, in hopes of empowering them to start asking urgent questions about the movement’s methods, ends and overall ethos.

For me, MAGA became all-consuming. I never took an hour off from waging an existential, life-or-death battle against my (our) enemies. Attacks against Donald Trump were attacks on his faithful supporters, and only strengthened our bond with him and each other. That needs to be front of mind as we consider how best to help others leave MAGA.

We’ve devised some suggestions and strategies for reaching out to MAGA loved ones or friends. These are not one-size-fits-all recommendations; every individual has their own story and every relationship has its own dynamics.

As someone who spent nearly a decade interacting with MAGA voters on a daily basis, I can testify that they aspire to many of the same goals as those of us who oppose Trump: They want greater economic opportunity, accountability for corruption, good schools, safer streets and neighborhoods, protecting our constitutional rights and more.

Believe it or not, most MAGA followers are decent people who have lost their way and been led astray. Even intelligent people of high integrity are susceptible to being manipulated and exploited. I believe most MAGA Americans will reach the point where serious doubts take hold. 

As you begin reaching out, separate your love and respect for the person from your opposition to Trump. Think about what your relationship with them was like before MAGA.

How we interact is key; acknowledging another person’s beliefs does not mean concurrence or acceptance. Your purpose can’t be to polemicize, but to begin a dialogue.

For example, you’ll get nowhere if you refer to MAGA as a cult, even if you believe that term fits. MAGA people will shut down.

Instead, try something unexpected: Ask about their values and beliefs prior to the Trump era. Ask what it might take to change their mind. Ask whether they might be overlooking pertinent facts, and whether their worldview might be a bit too black-and-white for a multicolored world. Relatability can be found here; as all of us have our blind spots.

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Here are some critical guideposts:

Search for relatability and common ground, whether personal or political. 
Don’t attack! Try to understand why they believe what they do. You don’t have to agree. Those with whom we have major differences are not necessarily our enemies.
Introduce the possibility of reconciliation with their family and friends. Ask them to think about their lives and their relationships before Trump and MAGA.
Rather than debating facts and policy, open up a respectful back and forth. You might ask something like: “I understand some of the reasons why you support the Trump presidency. Do you understand the reasons why so many others don’t?” This question presents an idea that the Trump supporter may not have engaged with. Continue to probe their beliefs without being directly confrontational. This can open doors that were previously shut.
After you make some progress — which will likely take more than a single conversation — ask if they’re open to hearing about the regrets of former Trump supporters, which might include the work of our nonprofit. 

I understand that you may feel the MAGA supporter in your life is racist, homophobic, misogynistic or downright unpatriotic. Please consider that saying those things will absolutely not convince them to leave MAGA. The way to begin creating doubt — the necessary precursor to self-empowerment and, ultimately, to leaving MAGA — is through empathy and education.

Difficult as this may be, respect the fact that MAGA is a community. It can be excruciatingly difficult to leave a community that acknowledges, appreciates and validates its members. But it’s not impossible, as I know from personal experience.

I would urge you to welcome the remorseful ex-Trumpers, rather than shunning them. Some on the anti-Trump side are fine with inflicting pain on those they disagree with. If that feels necessary to you, OK. But we can be better than this. Embracing those who are ready to leave MAGA is crucial to reversing America’s current path.