Convicted insurrectionist Pam Hemphill does not want Trump’s pardon—even though it would end her probation 8 months early.Matthew Kelley/AP
Before Pamela Hemphill stormed the Capitol with thousands of other insurrectionists on January 6, 2021, she posted a photo of herself on Facebook in her living room holding a giant, plastic firearm. “Happy New Year!” the post read. “On my way to Washington DC January 6th!”
Once there, Hemphill wandered the halls of the Capitol armed with a selfie stick, according to a court filing from the Federal Bureau of Investigation that included stills from surveillance footage.
Eight months later, law enforcement officials arrested Hemphill in Boise, Idaho. In January 2022, she pleaded guilty to a charge of violent entry and disorderly conduct on capitol grounds, and was soon after sentenced to two months in prison—which she served at the now-shuttered FCI Dublin in California—three years probation, and a $500 fine.
Today, 71-year-old Hemphill does not recognize her insurrectionist self. “My dream is to meet the Capitol police officers,” she told me on Zoom on Thursday, “and give them a hug.” She is so appalled by her past actions, in fact, that she has rejected the pardons Trump issued to the insurrectionists on Monday—despite the fact that it would have ended her ongoing period of probation, which prevents her from leaving the state, owning a weapon, or returning to the Capitol. (Whether she can legally reject the pardon remains unclear. Her attorney declined to comment when reached by phone on Thursday.)
A retired substance abuse counselor who says she’s been sober for more than four decades, Hemphill likens her decision to abstain from the pardon to the process of recovery: “It’s by doing the right thing and accepting responsibility for your actions that’s going to bring you more peace than anything you could imagine,” she told me.
I called up Hemphill—who said she voted for Kamala Harris in the last election—to discuss her path to insurrectionist, the consequences of her criminal conviction, and Trump.
This interview has been lightly condensed and edited.
How did you wind up at the Capitol on Jan. 6?
My brother had called and said, “Hey, how would you like to go there as a Christmas gift? It’ll be the last time we may be able to see Trump.” I said, “Oh, I’d love that,” because two weeks after I was going to start chemotherapy [for breast cancer], so I had a little window, and I thought, “this would be great.” I’d never been to Washington.
So by the time you got to DC on January 6, did you think that the 2020 election had been stolen?
I was on the fence. But I was believing if [Rudy] Giuliani’s out there and Trump and all those other very famous people, they wouldn’t be lying to the country.
Can you talk about the violence you saw that day?
[The insurrectionists] pushed the barriers. They pushed the officers. They ran up to the steps, they pushed me down, stepped on my head, pulled my shoulder, cut my knee. I couldn’t breathe. The police officers pulled me up and saved my life. I would be dead because they were walking all over me.
So how does it feel to know that some of these people who perpetrated acts of violence against these police officers have now been pardoned and released from prison?
I’m so disgusted. How could they ever have been released? I mean, they’re the most dangerous criminals, and a lot of them had committed crimes before. I’m just still so disgusted and so angry. And that’s why I won’t take a pardon—because it would be a slap in the face to the Capitol Police, the rule of law, and to our nation.
Do you know of anyone else who was convicted for what they did on January 6 who also want to reject the pardons?
No, I wish. I keep asking people, journalists, and different people, “Do you know of anybody? I’d love to be able to talk to them.” You feel so alone. I can’t be the only one.
When you were in prison, did you start to question the narrative of January 6 at all?
No, not at all. You’re just trying to focus. I was taking it an hour at a time.
Once in a while when I was laying in my bunk, I would think it over, but I got so many letters saying I’m a hero, and “what you did was great.” And my gut said, “I don’t think so. I broke the law.” I would go back and forth with myself.
When I got out and went to see my therapist that I had been seeing for years—because I still suffer from childhood PTSD issues—he looked at me, he heard my little back-and-forth denial. He says, “Miss Hemphill, come on, you’re not a victim. You had a choice. You were a volunteer.” And I got mad, and said, “I’m never gonna go back and see that therapist.”
I got home that night, and because I’ve been sober for 45 years, one of the steps in recovery is, “When you’re wrong, properly admit it.” I realized: “Oh, he’s right. I had a choice. I’m not a victim.” And that started turning my thinking around.
What message do you think Trump is trying to send by issuing these pardons? And what message do you think he’s actually sending?
In my opinion, the message is the DOJ is weaponized against him. He’s so evil. He needs his little own militia out there on the streets. He’s sending a message to the DOJ: “We know that you came after me like a witch hunt, and I did nothing wrong, and neither did the J6ers.” It’s the best gaslighting campaign I’ve ever seen.
You use the word “militia.” Are you worried that the people who have been released from prison could go on to more political violence? What do you think they’re capable of going forward?
Everything they were capable of doing on January 6. Nothing’s changed. They haven’t taken any responsibility for what they did at all. I mean, nobody forced them to break a window or hit an officer. In fact, it’s empowered them more. So, yes, I’m afraid that there will be more violence.
Why don’t you want to accept this pardon? Is rejecting it even legally possible?
According to what I’ve researched, yes.
I told my probation officer and I think she’s probably waiting for paperwork. But whatever I have to do to sign that thing I will, and then I’m going to frame it.
The reason I’m not accepting it is because it would just contribute to their gaslighting and their lying about what happened on January 6—that it was okay, that we’re innocent. I don’t want to be a part of their continued rewrite of history. I broke the law. I know it would be difficult if you are in prison, looking at a ten-year sentence, but I’m sure I would still do this. Because you got to live with you, not anybody else. I have to live with Pam and my God that I believe in. So it’s the right thing to do, for no other reason.
I’m curious, does your background as a substance counselor and the steps that you have taken toward recovery, does that impact how you think about this?
Yeah, because it’s not just saying, “I’m sorry.” That’s easy.
Making amends means to make it right. You can’t make January 6 right. But at least by speaking out, trying to reach out to others that are confused and lost family members in the MAGA cult, maybe I can say something to help them get through this. Or maybe—hopefully—somebody, a J6er or another criminal, might sit back and give it some thought and say, “you know, I was wrong that day. I need to take accountability.”
You never know. We just plant the seeds.
Has your conviction had any ongoing consequences to your life and to opportunities you’ve sought after getting out of prison? If so, has that made you question at all whether you should take the pardon?
The consequences are troubles of my own making. I put myself there; I didn’t leave. I have to take the consequences that come with it. You don’t do things that are wrong and then think everything in your life’s going to be ok now.
There’s been some consequences. I lost my Social Security. A relationship of 12 years left when I moved away from the MAGA cult. Lost my counseling license.
Ex-Capitol and DC police officers who were attacked that day now say they feel betrayed that Trump issued these pardons. Meanwhile, Trump has insisted he’s a “friend to police.” What’s your response to this?
I’m so angry. Congress approved the plaque for the Capitol police officers and they have not put it up. It’s the least our nation could do for the Capitol police.
Right now it’s real important to give them all the support that they could get to let them know that we know they were the heroes that day, and to thank them and let them know that we’re behind them.
Trump ain’t a friend to nobody. He’s a narcissist; he’s a dangerous narcissist.
He plays both sides, all the time. You never know what he’s going to do, and he lies about everything.
What is your message to Trump and to other people who were convicted who are now taking solace in these pardons?
It’s hard to say what you would say to Trump because he wouldn’t even let you say anything.
To the others, since I was honest with myself, I sleep well at night. I have peace of mind. I didn’t like doing it. I wanted to stay a victim. When I changed and started realizing that Trump was a cult leader, I went through a lot this last year and a half. It’s not like if you do recognize you were wrong, don’t be thinking that it’s going to be easy, because it’s not. But you’re going to feel good, personally, inside.