Survey: What Do YOU Think ‘Trump Cologne’ Smells Like?

Ooh, the stench of it!

Smell like Trump: ‘victory cologne’ for sale as president-elect hawks his wares

[…] For those who want to smell like Trump, it also offers cologne. There are actually two types of cologne available: “Fight fight fight” and “Victory”. The first one is inspired by Trump’s words after he was shot in the ear, and is apparently a “bold scent” that “delivers rich, robust notes that leave a lasting impression”. Buyers should note, however, that this is “Not just a cologne – it’s a symbol of resilience. Inspired by Trump’s relentless drive, wear it with pride and confidence.”

Victory cologne is the more out there of the two. The bottle cap is a small gold bust of Trump’s head, complete with jowls and quaff, and, according to the website, is “for the movers, the shakers, and the history makers”.

It adds: “Crowned with a Trump Collector’s cap, splash on a bit of Victory and own every room you step into.”

There’s a perfume, too, “for women who embody strength and grace, like President Trump” – all of it for sale at outrageous prices. (Victory, priced at $119, is the cheapest thing on there by about $100, but is currently sold out.)

Gonna guess it smells like B.O. and a loaded diaper, maybe with some old banana peel thrown in.

Republished with permission from Mock Paper Scissors.

Editors note: So what do YOU think Trump Victory Cologne smells like? Let us know in comments!

This is not A.I.

But it comes in a nice bottle to match your sneakers

— Well now, they often call me Greedo 🕍🦉🦉 (@natteringnaybob.bsky.social) August 5, 2024 at 2:30 PM