Geez, does anyone want to buy the scent of dirty diapers before you take your girl out on a hot date? Well, you’re in luck! Donald Trump has been hawking many items, including a signed guitar for a mere $11,000; however, he’s been slammed with a cease-and-desist letter from famed guitar maker Gibson Guitars.
His tacky $299.00 golden sneakers are another item, but now we have a cologne where you can smell like Trump for $99.00.
The Guardian reports:
For those who want to smell like Trump, it also offers cologne. There are actually two types of cologne available: “Fight fight fight” and “Victory”. The first one is inspired by Trump’s words after he was shot in the ear, and is apparently a “bold scent” that “delivers rich, robust notes that leave a lasting impression”. Buyers should note, however, that this is “Not just a cologne – it’s a symbol of resilience. Inspired by Trump’s relentless drive, wear it with pride and confidence.”
Victory cologne is the more out there of the two. The bottle cap is a small gold bust of Trump’s head, complete with jowls and quaff, and, according to the website, is “for the movers, the shakers, and the history makers”.
It adds: “Crowned with a Trump Collector’s cap, splash on a bit of Victory and own every room you step into.”
There’s a perfume, too, “for women who embody strength and grace, like President Trump” – all of it for sale at outrageous prices. (Victory, priced at $119, is the cheapest thing on there by about $100, but is currently sold out.)
Oh, but there’s more.
The shoes and the scents pale in comparison to the controversy created by Trump’s God Bless the USA Bible, which the president-elect endorsed and started hawking in March. Priced at $59.99 – $83.37 after tax and shipping – it was described by the Guardian as “a blasphemous, sticky nightmare”, and described by religious leaders as an example of “bankrupt Christianity” and in violation of one of the Ten Commandments.
Trump launched a watch range in September, too, with the most expensive of his timepieces selling for $100,000. (“This ostentatious gold monstrosity might just be the tackiest thing he – or indeed anyone – has brought out, ever,” reported the Guardian.)
As Ellen reported, only 15 of the watches have been sold. However, to borrow a phrase, there’s a sucker born every minute.
But as awful as Trump’s merchandise might be, it seems there are people out there willing to buy it. The celebrity builder has made about $7.2m from his range of NFTs, and about $399,000 from his sneakers, CBS News reported. Trump also made $300,000 from his Bibles, according to financial disclosures, while information is as yet unavailable on his allegedly vastly overpriced watches.
Who would want to buy cologne to smell like a 78-year-old grifter who wears lifts in his shoes to appear taller and shits himself? But don’t call Trump supporters a cult, mmkay? They’re very sensitive creatures, after all.